I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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