I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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