i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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