I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
