and she was petting her beer can
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
