Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
