You're completely useless in the revolution.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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