Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
