so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
