Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
