So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She's just so happy...and so naked.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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