I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
