i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
