jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
