Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
