there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
