you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
accomplished twins. life is a go
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
