I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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