Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
