4 words: hood of his car
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
