I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
