I heard we made out
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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