Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
