Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I didn't notice because vodka
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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