Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize