and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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