he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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