I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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