yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
