I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
