the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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