It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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