i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
