That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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