thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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