will power is for people who don't want to get laid
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
