What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
