My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
When did angry sex become our thing?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
