I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
