She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
