Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
