you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
