he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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