And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
