there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
