Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I had to cum in my sink.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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