fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
