this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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