What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
