FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Someone signed my nipple.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
