he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He shit in the fireplace
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize