i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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