My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
