I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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