so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
