So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
